Dear friend,
I want to tell you about my father and his brother.
I was a small boy in New York in the autumn of 1960. That was the year John Kennedy ran for president against Richard Nixon. My father was for Kennedy. My Uncle Joe was for Nixon.
They were close, those two. They had grown up sharing a bed in a cold apartment in Brooklyn. Uncle Joe came for dinner every Sunday. He taught me to throw a baseball. He smelled of tobacco and peppermints, and he always slipped me a nickel when my mother was not looking.
One Sunday that October, the argument started over the roast. I remember the voices getting louder. I remember my mother putting down her fork. I remember Uncle Joe standing up, putting on his hat, and walking out without finishing his dinner.
He did not come the next Sunday. Or the one after that.
My father never called him again. And Uncle Joe never called my father.
They did not speak for thirty years.
What I saw at the end.
I was the one who buried Uncle Joe.
My father came to the funeral. He sat in the back row. When it was over and everyone had gone, he stayed in that pew for a long time. I sat down beside him.
He did not cry. My father was not a man who cried. He just said, very quietly, “I cannot even remember what we said.”
Thirty years. Over an election that was long forgotten. And he could not remember the words.
I have sat with a great many dying people in fifty years with the Church. I have heard a great many regrets. Not one of them has ever told me they wished they had won more arguments. Many of them have told me they wished they had picked up the phone.
What Paul asks of us.
In Romans chapter 12 verse 18, Paul wrote this.
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
I want you to notice three things about that verse.
If it is possible. Paul knew it would not always be possible. Some people will not make peace with you no matter what you do.
As far as it depends on you. You cannot control them. You can only control your part.
Live at peace. Not agree. Not surrender. Not pretend you believe something you do not. Live at peace.
You do not have to give up a single conviction to keep the door open. You can stand exactly where you stand and still be the one who calls on Sunday.
Eleven days.
In eleven days, America votes. And I know what these weeks do to families.
Some of you have a son who will not talk to you about it. A sister who sends you articles meant to make you feel foolish. A friend from church who looks at you differently now.
Some of you have already had your own Sunday roast. The voices. The fork set down. The door closing.
I am not asking you to change your vote. I am asking you to make sure that whatever happens on November 3rd, you do not wake up thirty years from now in the back row of a church, unable to remember the words.
Pick up the phone. Before the election, not after.
When they mock you.
I know it is hard to keep the peace when the people you love are mocking your faith. When they call you foolish or worse for believing what your parents and grandparents believed.
Many of you have asked me how to answer without losing your temper, and without giving up what you believe.
I wrote a guide for exactly that. It is called Faith Under Attack: How To Stand Firm When The World Mocks You. It gives you an answer from Scripture for the things you are most likely to hear, so you can stand firm and stay calm at the same time.
You can find the guide by clicking on the image below:
Alternatively, you may find it here: https://fatherthomasletters.com/products/faith-under-attack
My father and Uncle Joe were good men. They loved each other. They just let one autumn decide the rest of their lives.
Do not let this autumn decide yours.
God bless you, friend. You are not forgotten.
With you in prayer always,
Father Thomas
This weekend I want you to do three things:
One. Read Romans chapter 12 verses 9 through 21. Underline verse 18. Ask yourself honestly what “as far as it depends on you” means in your own family right now.
Two. Call one person you have drifted from over politics. Do not mention the election. Ask how they are. That is all.
Three. Read Faith Under Attack, using the image or link above, so that the next time someone mocks your faith, you are ready with an answer that is calm, kind, and true.
One last thing.
If this letter meant something to you, please forward it to two people you love. A friend from church. A brother or sister. Someone who feels as alone in these times as you sometimes do.
Many of you found these letters because someone shared them with you. Thank you for doing the same.
Was this letter forwarded to you? You can receive them yourself, free, here: https://fatherthomasletters.com/subscribe